Our childhood solution to a problem becomes a problem when we are adults

What you perceive as a problem in your life is not actually a problem. It is a solution. It is what is showing up as consequences of your decision to solve a problem in the PAST. 

Here is a simple algorithm of why it is so.

• You are a child, you are overwhelmed in an interaction with an adult.

• Your mind comes up with a solution to the overwhelm, flagging overwhelm as an important, life saving biological function of the nervous system.

• This solution is a thought, a belief which is a decision. This thought/ belief is always about who you are… it can go like this or variations of this.. “I am alone, not needed and will always be like this”. At the same time, the mind makes a decision to separate from the pain caused by the decision; it hides it away, tucking it “safely” into the dungeon of unconsciousness. Out of sight.

The belief: ” They don’t want me. If my mom doesn’t love me, what can I expect from others, I am not worthy of love and it will always be like that: This is my destiny. This is who I am. “

When this decision/ solution is made, it is absolutely validated and necessary for a child or a youth to adjust to and to survive in their social environment. There is simply no other choice. With this decision comes commitment to the solution, to the belief about self.

Our system organises itself around this solution. We don’t do the organising, the system does. It is SELF-ORGANISING. We have done the job, as an active agent and a creator by producing the thought. The rest is not up to us.

Interestingly, this solution is meant to be short term, to survive that particular overwhelm. But we hold onto it because it sinks deeper into unconsciousness. The belief, the thought is encoded into the matrix, we keep investing feelings into the solution, feelings of pain.

Soon, we start viewing the feelings and pain as a problem. We commit to this problem and how we experience it. We commit so fully to the problem that we get hypnotised by it. When we grow up, we use language to explain our feelings. It hardly ever works. It is barely helpful. By that time your inner world is organised around the belief “I am unworthy.” There is a self- run system  in place. 

As grownups, when we want to solve the problem, we invest into the same feelings, reinforcing the belief. The result is inner conflicts and further fragmentation manifested in harsh inner critical voices, symptoms of self- sabotage, physical symptoms, and addictions. More separation inside. More disconnect within. Full out internal warfare.

This is how a solution to an emotional overwhelm, a decision that was right and needed in the past, becomes a problem in life. If in our adult life we keep manifesting the consequences of the decision made long ago, we must change the belief about who I am to start manifesting consequences of a new powerful belief.