How to create inner confidence?
They make comments about your face, your body, how you raise your kids, and suddenly you are overwhelmed with emotions of fear, anger, anxiety, or despair.
Everyone has their favorite default emotion they go to. Just a moment ago, you were OK, somewhat confident about your looks, your kids, and now you are miserable.
At that moment confidence seems to be so ephemeral in nature- everyone has the power to take it away.
The truth is when there is no one to shatter it, you do a great job of shattering it yourself. The Inner critic in your head keeps saying things that go in loops, incidentally flooding you with feelings of worthlessness and not enoughness.
The nervous system seems to hijack and keep you in the marinade of the same emotions again and again. You are trapped.
This was my drill for the major part of my life, 42 years of my life to be precise. Being trapped and surviving was my main thing to do. The message my system was sending was that of hopelessness, and it was brutal and insistent. Inwardly.
Outwardly, I was a picture of happiness and success.
46 now. I am OK, when I am OK. I am not trapped inside.
Confidence is a thing I can hold and develop. People make comments; I decide if I need to listen and I make a choice. There is calmness inside that keeps me firmly within myself. The sense of self is always there and is consistent. When I feel triggered, I know it has to do with unconscious belief: something in me is making me feel this way.
What do I think about myself in order for me to feel this way? I go looking for this thought. I disagree with it, I question it, I ask about its origin, and I let it go. Then, I create a new thought and more confidence.
Confidence is an internal thing. Being at peace with self. Being able to find what is not working and transform it in a way that sustains you and builds you up.
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