Healing the Emotion

Let’s talk about emotions and the possibilities to heal them.

Do you agree that most of our problems are emotional in their nature?

Clients that I see come to me with a general sense of stuckness in their problems.

They experience emotions, triggers, and behaviors that they can’t control. They can’t seem to get over them.

Interestingly, they are very aware of a problem and its symptoms. They want to solve this issue, and haven taken actions like personal development, self-help, therapies, etc. but they can’t seem to shift.

Now it’s not to say that none of this works, as everything you do to help yourself has value. I am referring to problems that you deemed unsolvable. A problem that you threw everything at, but it persists. Not only that. This problem gets worst, it affects many aspects of your life, and it became a heavy burden.

I have experienced such problems myself.

One of my biggest was the problem of visibility, being seen.

When asked what kind of superpower I would want to have, I would always say“invisibility”. When I was in primary school, my biggest dream and fantasy was to go out of the house and the streets are empty. No one is there, and when someone is there, I turn on the invisibility switch. This fantasy gave me a sense of peace and safety.

Now, I am a grown-up person with this old problem. Imagine I have been a trainer, teacher, and coach for a long time. How can I do my work effectively if I need to be invisible? The very nature of my work is to be SEEN.

So I created all sorts of adjustments to living my life around this problem. I created a controlled environment, a territory, and conditions like working only with small groups of people. Living with the problem worked for a while until it didn't.

Now as I started growing my business and putting myself out there more, all emotional hell broke. I felt out of control because there was "too much attention coming my way". Too much attention for me can mean not enough attention for another person. But we are talking about my problem now.

This perceived "too much attention" became a trigger for me to feel overwhelmed. I unconsciously stopped myself. I stopped SM engagement, seeing clients, and running group projects. It was really such an abrupt stop that I wasn't aware of it. I couldn’t figure out why I stopped doing things I loved. The problem was unconscious of course, and it stopped unconsciously. So after a year, looking back at the time when I stopped, I am thinking: "What happened to my projects?"

This is just a small example of how unhealed emotions can stop us on our track, despite our best intentions. For me, all lights were out in regard to my projects, as I went deep into unconsciousness of the unhealed emotion.

I am very interested in the power of emotions to influence us to the degree that bypasses our awareness, and keeps us stuck, like in my example and in my client's examples.

Another example, is emotional overeating, something I work with a lot. People report not being aware of overeating to the point of making themselves sick and actually realizing only after the fact that they had eaten all this food in the middle of the night.

Now, again, this is the case of unhealed emotion. Something is working in your unconsciously.

Why is it working? I wouldn’t want to hurt myself.

Whatever is working now is there for a purpose. It is doing something for you on an unconscious level. Otherwise, it wouldn't exist. At some point, thought and emotion were created to solve a past problem.

So what once was a solution to a problem, now became a problem.

Does it make sense?

To explain it, let me go back to my "invisibility" example and show you how I created a solution to a problem in the past.

I was a young child raised in a very dysfunctional and violent household. I was surrounded by lectures, shouting, and in general a lot of unwanted attention. My reaction to that was to hide physically under the table.

So now, I am a grown woman, working for my big adult life goals, like running a biz, working as a trainer, and having relationships, but I have this same old adaptation- need to hide.

Hiding was a solution in the past. Hiding is a problem now.

I am able to consciously explain this to you now, only because this was healed. I am able to be in front of you now, only because this old emotion was processed. I am not stuck in it anymore. Now I have a choice. Yes, I can get lazy with things, and annoyed like any normal human, but I can overcome them.

My experience with clients and myself is that everything, any kind of stuckness can be brought out of unconsciousness for processing and integrating.

Going back to my example, it's important to note that when this thought ” it’s not safe to be seen” was formed, it was NOT VERBAL. Instead, it was an instant at the level of emotion and instinct. I was a tiny person when I formed this thought-belief. My reaction was pre verbal, formed before I had language part of the brain developed. Such is a case with many clients I work with.

The stress reaction was triggered at the level of cells, and the mind, so everything became super heightened to serve that thought. Because this thought is for survival. Then we become stuck because we have no choice and we keep running the same program unconsciously for many years.

For me to solve this I needed to go back to the place of its birth and allow the healing to happen at the emotional, instinctual, and biological levels. Basically, allow it to process and allow myself to fully understand that there is no need for it, so I can let go of the old stuff and bring new stuff in.

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